i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Randomize
