when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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