My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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