never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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