Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
