i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
