yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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