i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
