just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
