One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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