I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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