i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
