I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
ok first of all what the fuck
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
