she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
