Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
