Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
