Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
