Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
