oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
