Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
