if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
