just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
