In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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