I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
