just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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