so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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