Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
