when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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