new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
