i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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