Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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