And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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