..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
