Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
