sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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