i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
