i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
