The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
