okay pat passed out under dana's car
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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