There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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