how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so let's talk penis.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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