Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?