Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
