she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
