why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
