I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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