we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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