he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
