Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fuckfacemcgee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

Fav 5 930 1044
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

Fav 8 1081 4039
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

Fav 39 5650 2742
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.

Fav 10 4265 2017
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."

Fav 26 4580 1335
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.

Fav 15 5179 1506
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.

Fav 5 3088 1094
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

Fav 0 80 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.

Fav 0 32 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT