My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize