i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
