i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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