I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
