Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
