Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
