Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Your cock deserves a montage
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
