thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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