well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
