Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
