Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
