I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
