so that wasnt chicken after all
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
