i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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