Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
