Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
