How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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