dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
