my soul wont recognize me after tonight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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