I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
